4-weeks to the day hour minute. I was sitting in the car while Jim was filling it up with gas and we were headed out of town when Tanamin let me know Kishma had just passed. The overwhelming grief was unimaginable. Janae, my 16-year old baby girl reached through from the back seat and wrapped her arms around the front seat, and me, because she could see my shoulders shaking as I tried to cry silently. Jim jumped in the car and pulled me to him, hugging me hard for a long time. I wanted to be there to hold her hand and rub her hair and back and tell her how much I loved her, even if she couldn’t hear me. I wanted to say good-bye.