I Googled “Controlling Grief” (as if that could be done.) I came across an interesting post. Not because of the majority of the content, as I had read it all before. But because of the very last paragraph.
Recognize that you will always get something when you have to give something up. Look for that gift! Find that something. When one door closes on life, don’t waste you time pounding on it. Instead, look for other options. Be alert to unexpected opportunities and embrace them. Something very wonderful might happen…!
Don’t get me wrong. When I first read this paragraph, my immediate thought was, “I don’t want the gift. Give Kishma back.” But I know that isn’t an option. The little 5-year old stomping her foot is not going to get her way.
So I try to look in my heart, to find the gift Kishma wants me to find.
Sunday began as a difficult day. I wanted to sleep to cover the quiet anguish. I teach adult Sunday School at my church every other Sunday and last Sunday was my turn to teach. But even that didn’t matter. When my hubby asked, “Are we going to church today?” and I rolled over and said I wanted to sleep, he was quiet. Then he gently said, “I think you should go honey.”
The relationship I have with my sweet husband is one in which he never tells me that I “should” do something. We are both adults and respect each others feelings and desires. So to have these words quietly come to me pulled me completely awake. I lay there for a moment then jumped out of bed and began to get dressed.Don’t misunderstand. I did NOT want to get out of that bed. And I definitely didn’t want to be around people. But the sound of his soft voice was as clear as an angels trumpet.
Be here. Be now. Be.
His gentle nudge helped to move me forward. I was quiet as I came around the bed to give him a hug, He knew how I felt and he was treading so carefully. I wanted to let him know I was okay and I could do it.