A Fairy Laugh


Almost two months ago I was standing at the foot of my bed, throwing clothes into a suitcase to rush to Fresno.  I simply had to get there to see my twin, who I found out a few minutes earlier had gone in for emergency open heart surgery.  And though I was told she had only a 50/50 chance of surviving, death wasn’t even considered.  If my husband and I hurried, we could be there before she was really conscious and knew what was going on.  It would be a great surprise for her.

As I was folding a pair of socks it happened.  It was a feeling of taking a deep cool breath.  It’s coolness filled every inch of my body.  Then Kishma’s face came into my mind as clearly as any memory I have ever had.  She was smiling widely with her eyes wrinkling at the corner.  She tilted her head with her black hair mussed, and she laughed.  It can only be described as something as pure as a baby’s laugh…or the imagined joy of a fairy laugh. 

Tears poured down my cheeks as I cried quietly to my husband, “It’s Kishma!  She’s gone!”

The absolute anguish of, “No! Wait for me! Don’t go yet!” was pushed aside by a laugh that was so sweet.  Though I would already be on the road when I got the call from Tan that brought the crushing news confirming she had passed away, my heart knew at that very moment that my twin went home. 


I chose this image because it looks so much like Kishma when we were young. We were so small and slender but impish too.


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