This is the longest time I have not posted since attending Kishma’s celebration of life in Fresno. But I am working through it. I am watching General Conference on tv today and tomorrow. It is a bi-annual program put on by the church I attend and it is helpful. I have no doubt of where Kishma is right now. I can not imagine the agony felt by those who have no spiritual beliefs, when a loved one passes. In particular losing a twin.
I’ve been to see the doc and gotten non-barbituate meds to help me sleep for a time. I’ll take the first tonight to see how it works. I’ve never taken a sleep meds before cause I just hate taking drugs. Funny coming from someone who’s very life depends on regular doses of various meds. But I guess it is different to take those one must as opposed to one that isn’t “required.” Though, I guess at this point, it is a needed and required meds. I finally fell asleep last night close to 4am. I should have just gotten up but I kept trying to drift to sleep.
I’ve been rolling things around in my mind about taking a trip to Oregon in June. My sweetie and I were thinking about taking 2-weeks off in October to visit all my family members but I was prompted to go visit my dad sooner. So we have set up to visit Cottage Grove the first week of June. We’ll visit my cousins Becky, Debbie and Libby who I haven’t seen for, oh my goodness, over 30 years. We’ll spend a little time visiting my “little” sister as I haven’t seen her for forever either. And the majority of time will be with dad. It will be a fun trip but it is also a financial hit, and a bit stressful for an introvert. But I need to do it or it will never happen.
Then some time in October we will go over to California and visit my twins family, then down to visit with my mom and brother and Jim’s brother and sister-in-law. I guess look forward to that trip a little more as the introvert in me “knows” these families more and the introvert in me isn’t panicking. We’ll also try to take my baby to Disneyland once more before she grows up and away from us. She just turned 17 and it’s tough to believe she graduates next year.
I had a memory last night. Kishma and I used to live in a very large apartment complex. One time it had rained all day, all night and all day. Kishma and I went outside to play and got absolutely soaking wet. We played in a spot of mud where the landscaping had died, making mud trails and miniature rivers. It seemed like we played there for hours. Then soaking wet we went in and took a hot bath to get clean and get our internal temperatures warmed up again.
We were both sick so often, memories of us just being kids are extremely cherished.