I received a very sweet post from another twinless twin. She had her first birthday without her twin this week. I so much wanted to just hug her. I do not look forward to that day this summer. Even 600 miles apart we still celebrated our birthdays together, my twin and I.
I found this image online and it made me sad and laugh at the same time. We want grief to be this nice tidy little pattern of stages and categories and a straight line through each of them. It is in reality so much messier. It is a roller coaster of climbing, doing fine, then a sudden drop of the ground from beneath you with a few hard hair pin turns then you find the ground for a moment before it drops from beneath you again. The goal is to feel more ups than downs…and it just plain takes time.