17th Week


This is week 17.

  • 17 is the 7th prime number.
  • 17 is also the sum of the first 4 prime numbers.
  • It’s the atomic number for chlorine.
  • The B-17 also known as the Flying Fortress is one of my favorite airplanes.
  • In Italy, the number 17 is bad luck and there is no seat/row 17 on Alitalia Airlines.
  • There are 17 syllables in a haiku (5+7+5)
  • It is week 17 of my sweet twin sister traveling existence without pain or illness or lack of air.  And as of today, it is exactly 4 months since her passing.

I tried posting yesterday however my internet has been malfunctioning all week.  Finally got ahold of the internet provider and got it fixed.  So I’m back.

My husband told me a story yesterday. He said a co-worker came to him who stated he had just learned a friend of his was a twin. That this man confided he was a twin and had lost his brother at a very early age. The age of six. And that he absolutely hated his birthday. The reason was not what I thought.  It was because, since his brother passed away, for many years on his birthday his mother would take him to visit the cemetery and his brother’s grave.

Now, I understand people deal with grief in different ways and perhaps this was his mother or father’s way of coping, but this poor young man…to lose someone in the first place is such a deep difficult thing, but for it to be your twin and for you to be only six years old and unable to really comprehend the range of emotions and loss you feel, this situation made my jaw drop. And my motherly indignation rear it’s not inconsiderable head.

I don’t know enough about him to know how he has dealt with it all these years but from the brief excerpt I received, to make a child go through such a thing and especially on his birthday was horrible.  I always try to understand others perspective…but this one was too hard.  My husband is going to give his friend the contact information for Twinless Twins, to pass to this twinless twin, in the event he could benefit from this group. All I can say is…unbelievable.


One response »

  1. I can not say I know the greef of a twin. I won’t pretend that I do.
    I do however know greef. I know the deep pain in the aria of the
    Hart. Some days so deep and so laterally panful you pray to god
    To take you. I understand so profoundly the screaming in my
    Head as I’m driving down the street,”why hasn’t the world stopped?
    How can the world around me, the people around me move around
    Me like nothing happend.”
    I know greef. I am familyer with relentless depression. The vary first
    Time I tryed to pull myself out of the depression that follows greef, I
    Thought to my self, what do I love? And it has to be a deep true
    Love of any THING. SHOSE! I went out and spent money I did
    Not have and bought my first pair of healing shoes. They were a
    Gift from god. They did not heal me, but every time that suprize
    Greef caught me off gard. First I had to think do I want to go on
    This ride. If the answer was no, I would look at my shoes. I would
    Look at them, wear them, walk in them. I would often look at my
    Beautifully adorned feet in the mirror. Omg it started to help.
    I wrote poetry none stop. Offel stuff! But vary healing for me.
    Then one day out of the blue, the weight was lifted from my chest.
    The day seemed brighter. For the first time sence the mess, I saw
    The sun shine. It was all still there, but not as heavy or dark.
    I got a tattoo. ☀the sun. One, they used the sun in the Celtic
    Cross. That is what the circle is. Sun/son those clever Christians
    For me it ment god never left me. God was ever present during
    My greef. The other thing it ment was the sun will always shine.
    Some times you can’t see it untell you come out the other side.
    When I came out the other side, well that is what my sun tatto
    Is about. A cellabration of rebirth. Untill your big beautiful
    Rebirth, just breath, exist, and for heavens sake, get some beautiful
    Shoes. The shoes my not work for you, but really, what can they
    Hurt? Oh and get a pedicure would you! I know you could care less
    About your self, but your feet are crying. Can’t you here them?
    The whiny bastards! Shut those dogs up! Pedicure then shoos.
    And don’t be cheep and paint your toes and call THAT good. GO
    (out of your comfort zone) and get a pedicure! Pay some one to
    Do it for you. THEN, shop for shoes with your beautiful FEET!
    I love you.
    Do you think you could do a cupple of charcole and/or pencil
    Scetches of kishma for me?


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