Monthly Archives: December 2014

Eleven Months


Yesterday was 48 weeks. Or 11 months – since my identical twin sisters passing.  It went by quietly and without event.  Middlesnow angel of the night tears are a given.

It is very cold here in Cottonwood today.  It dropped down into the teens last night and will do so again tonight and we actually have snow this morning.  It’s a lot of snow for my little desert community.  We get snow about once or twice a year but it doesn’t usually stick.  However, we’ve had about 3 inches so far and it’s stuck enough to make snow angels and have snowball fights.  Which is awesome!  Except when you have a flat roof, or a metal/canvas canopy in the back yard like we do at my house.

The snow built up so much it collapsed the metal canopy onto our 1978 Corvette.  The metal poles had broken and were literally less than 1” from the windshield. The rest of it had the canopy atop it, full of heavy snow.  Then of course, the engine wouldn’t start so we had to go at it with shovels, cold hands and strong bodies to shoulder the metal pipes up high enough to have others try to push the car out from under the broken pipes and heavy snow.  It was about a 25 minute ordeal with the car suffering one 18” long gouge to the paint on it’s hood.  Wow.

So of course, immediately after that my husband hopped up onto our flat roof with my 17-year old daughter and began shoveling and hosing snow.  We didn’t need a collapse there as well!  He felt like the sailors on Deadliest Catch,  smacking and shoveling snow so the ship doesn’t capsize!

He got it done then headed inside for a hot shower and hot chocolate! YUM!

Makes me wish I could have a snow day from work!


Merry Christmas


magic-christmasI remember my twin Kishma and I used to sleep in the same bunk bed when we were very small. I would sleep with my head at one end and she would have hers at the other. No, we didn’t put our feet in each others noses.  This allowed us to not crowd each others faces when we were struggling to breath.  Christmas was always great as our brother would sleep on the top bunk and little sister would sleep on a pull out bed or even on the floor on blankies.  Christmas music would be playing, the house would smell like pine and the tree lights would twinkle magically. We would share reading Christmas stories as we tried not to fall asleep, all crammed into one bedroom.  But eventually the music was too comforting, and the warmth of the covers too sweet to avoid the heavy eyelids and we would succumb to the magic of sleep.

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family. May yours be magical, spiritual and full of joy.

An Ornament


My twin sister has been in zebra ornament 1my mind every moment of every day this December.  It’s a tough one I guess, the first Christmas without my Kishma.  I was getting ready to go to bed three nights ago and decided I would “whip up” a few salt dough ornaments. Specifically, a zebra ornament in her memory.  Though I’m an artist, I am not a sculptor by any means. So it was fun kneading together this little jewel.  Not nearly as forgiving as clay or sculpy, it was tough but fun.  As I’ve written in the past, one of Kishma’s totems was a zebra. She loved them.  So I cooked this up Monday night, painted her white last night and put the stripes on her tonight.  She has wings because my twin is no longer bound to a mortal form and is free from the burdens she carried here.  And though you can’t see it very well, there is a green bow holding her to the Christmas tree as that was her favorite color.

Love you sis.

Midnight Text Message


My cellphone has a little bird tweet sound to let  me know I received a text message.  It’s great for being nonabrasive.  If I’m outside, folks just think it’s birds.  If I’m in a meeting, people immediately look up to see if there is a bird in the office.

About 15 minutes ago it tweempty texteted. 1220am.  Late for me to be receiving a text.  I lay there half asleep and was going to ignore it…but the last time I received an after midnight text was just over 10 months ago, from my identical twin.  So when the text came in and I was thinking I would ignore it, I remembered the last time.  Then of course I had to check it to make sure it wasn’t any other family member with some difficult news. Which it wasn’t.

But that got me to thinking…. I had to replace my cellphone last week because I dropped it and shattered the glass. I was very careful to wipe everything out of the old phones memory because I didn’t want any identity theft etc.  Had everything copied to my new phone and backed up etc.

But as I lay there a few minutes ago, thinking about the last time I’d received a midnight text, I realized something… None of the texts transferred.  I had kept the last texts from my twin.  I read back over them when I was having a difficult day because she was always so up, even while going through such a difficult time.  Now those pearls of great price are gone.

My husband curled himself around me with hugs when I whispered to him what I had just realized.  I told him it was okay.  No reason to agonize as there was really no way to get them back.

But I will miss them.  They were a comfort.