It was a long day today. The elephant of grief found me to sit on my chest today, but only for a very short time. I sure do miss you. I want to share with you things in my day that I don’t have anyone else to share with them. With my sweetie of course, but sometimes I need my sis’ perspective (and laugh.)
I opened a business checking account today for Twin Wolf Designs. It took quite some time but the banker was a real sweetie. She spoke alot about her marriage and beautiful 5 month old and I really wasn’t used to that from a banker. Often it is the facade of friendliness to get the account opened then move on. She asked questions about my family and told me several times how sorry she was about my loss of you. Wow. THAT as an odd sentence. ..My loss of you.
The account is opened and I am awaiting checks and debit card with excitement of this new path. I’m hoping to get a credit card in the mail too. Don’t know. I don’t have any consumer debt but I sure do have medical debt and that messes up ones credit too. So we’ll see. Applied for my EIN, LLC and DUNNs number and got my TPT this week. That is a bunch of alphabet soup. Within the next two weeks I should have ALL my paperwork done. That’ll be nice.
I purchased two deer hides to begin working on an event I am putting on in your honor. It may just be a virtual on-line event but it’s all about you sweet kiddo. It’s called “In Memory of the Magic.” I will be applying for crowd funding through Kickstarter (c) to get funding for about 20 deer hides and accessories. I’ve got the campaign all written and I just need to put a short video together for it. In the past, all my painted memory pouches have images of wildlife, y’know, lions and tigers and bears OH MY. I thought I would do a series of fanciful things focusing on you. Faeries and pegasus’ and unicorns of course but, I thought I’d delve a little deeper into other imagery such as realistic (that is a funny word choice) mermaids, perhaps insect critters like you loved so much, aliens, etc. I’d like to do some ravens too.
I’m looking forward to doing some really different compositions. Stretching my creativity a little. As always, I can be a little conservative. This will push me. I told the banker all this is happening because of you. The realization that I need to do this not after I retire, not next year or next month or next week. But immediately. Today. In this breath.
I also said I wish I had done it while you were still breathing the air with me. Gosh. That was a sudden nice thought. I’ve been struggling breathing so much this week–a lot of particulates in the air–allergies abound. But I got a quick flash of a vision of you without any breathing troubles. Deep breaths and clear skies and cool nights with starry heavens. THAT was a very pleasant image.
I read where some twins feel they have to pick up where the twin that passed away left off. Do twice the work to participate in life for their fallen twin as well. Indeed, this is true. I felt the huge need to illustrate some of your manuscripts and get them out there so people remember you and know you. I felt the need to get on WOW which I did so rarely, because you loved it so. I took a very deep breath and stepped back. Told myself to go slow. Begin Twin Wolf projects first. We’ll see what happens from there.
I love and miss you like it was yesterday sis. HUGS.